The Firm

DO YOU SUFFER FROM SAD SUB SYNDROME?

In response to popular demand, the SSS pop-quiz, specially compiled by Professor JB Strangetrousers. It is very important, when answering these questions, to be absolutely honest, and not to masturbate at the same time.

HOW DID YOU SCORE?

Mostly "A's":
Well, it seems unlikely that you’ll remain sad and lonely for very long. Occasionally you have quite long conversations with club promoters, and you know what Tim Woodward looks like. You have done some voluntary work for SM Pride, it can’t be long before you are a regular face.

Mostly "B's":
You may not be in the ‘stumping out in a huff’ category, but you have moments of being sad and sometimes a little bit wanky. Practice interesting conversational gambits, and think about some of the political issues around The Scene. Consider getting involved in things a bit more, and make a few more friends.

Mostly "C's":
I’m afraid you’re just too submissive for The Scene as the moment. Try opening your own club, charging an exorbitant price on the door, and spending all the profits on professional dominatrices to entertain your punters. You will need to make sure that all the men are less sexy than you are, which could be difficult.